I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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