U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
