Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
