i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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