I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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