whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
