She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize