I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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