You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
