guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
