Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
