next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
