i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
