North Korea, Best Korea!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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