i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
