took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
