You work out of a Hotel?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
