I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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