The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
