I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
