At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You pole danced in your parka.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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