I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
