okay pat passed out under dana's car
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
