Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
