My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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