it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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