i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
