was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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