Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
