I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
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If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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