i permit you to call me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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