If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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