Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
