Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
