I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
