Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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