New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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