I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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