I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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