forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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