All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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