This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
