The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
