do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
