So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
