My sheets look like a crime scene.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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