I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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