I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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