maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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