xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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