People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
