roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize