hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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