the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is wine microwaveable?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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