found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
