i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
