That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize