Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Randomize
