Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
