Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
